the best things in life are found on Craigslist

Determined to find a decently priced apartment to look at in December when I visit, I am now spending a good portion on my time browsing ads on Craigslist. I have not announced it to the world yet, but I plan on moving back to Chicago in Spring of '09.

I couldn't NOT share this ad that I came across while browsing through the Apt/Housing category.

$30 / 3br - -------------House Wife
Wanted....All Expenses Paid.....SAVE $$ (Just South of Wicker Park)

You Provide: Laundry and house chores.

I Provide: All Housing Expense Paid......You Live For Free....And a chance to get ahead in life by living for free.......

Me: 28 M White, Attractive, Business Owner, Wicker Park

--I am Looking for a house wife

--You wash my laundry/ cook/ clean....I pay all of the bills....

-- I work 90- 100 hours a week, and am sick of spending my small amount
of spare time doing house chores......

--Be my house wife and I'll pay
all of the rent/ utility / tv / phone / internet / food / drinks / parking
expenses you are currently paying!! You can save up $$ and get a jump start on
life !!

--Please include your picture and #.....I'll call to answer any
questions you may have.

-- And yes, this is a real ad, and no this is
not too good to be true. I would just rather not spend my only day off washing
clothes (10 loads per week of work clothes) / cleaning up the house and my
office....

dogs are OK - wooof
Location: Just South of Wicker
Park

Tempting. I think I am the right person for the job. (If not, Phil, I will find out if he would be open to a "house husband.")

Lipstick & the City

I decided to venture out of the house today and treat the pooch to a nice afternoon at the dog park. Although it is cold outside, it was not unbearable... and the pooch has been slightly anxious to get out of the house ( I know this because he whines at me CONSTANTLY.)

Little did I know, the pooch (who was wearing the cutest little black jacket) would become the center of attention at the dog park.

When we visit the dog park (frequently in the spring/summer) we typically go to the park for big dogs, not small dogs ALTHOUGH my dog is only 11 lbs. He enjoys the big dogs, and gets himself in to less trouble. He gets waaaay too excited around the other small dogs.

Today, after roaming around by himself for quite some time, he found a gorgeous lassie-looking dog (50-75 lbs) to focus all of his attention on. Lassie was laying down chewing on a stick, when my pooch decided to take the opportunity to get behind Lassie and mount her. Lassie didn't even notice, but EVERYONE ELSE in the dog park did. There was one point in time that 3-4 people had their camera phones out not just taking pictures - but recording the dominatrix (a.k.a my pooch) in hump-mode. It WAS quite the site. Quite embarassing. The pooch has a reputation of being "romantic" but has also been referred to as Duece Bigalow.....

Eventually, I had to pull my dog off of Lassie and carry him out of the park. He is currently sprawled out on the couch with all 4 legs in the air. Relaxing after his big super-star day at the dog park.

On the lighter side of dog talk I got an e-mail from my grandparents and read this: "...We took Hunter (their dog) to the Mall yesterday in his stroller. He really enjoys that...."

wow.

(((change of subject)))

In less than 24 hours, my dreams of celebrating Hannukah this year have been shattered.

I was not aware that Hannukah is one of the best known holidays simply because of it's proximity to Christmas, It has become part of "The Holidays." Hannukah is often referred to as the "Jewish Christmas" and has adopted many of the Christmas traditions such as gift giving and elaborate decorating - although this is not traditional for the jews. Basic tradition is the lighting of the candles, spinning a dreidle, and eating fried food. Not much for celebrating.

SO I am back to celebrating the Holidays just like the Christians do, just like I did growing up. Santa Clause, Reindeer, and GIFTS... oh... and baby jesus!

To begin my holiday celebration I am going to create a Christmas list. (don't make me get out the JCPenny catalog)

My Official 2008 Christmas List:

• a remote car starter
• The Little Mermaid II
• A new mobile phone (anything but a blackberry. must have GPS)
• a gift certificate to MAC
• a new bed frame
• a blingin watch (I am ALWAYS looking for a watch that outblings my current one)
• a filing cabinet from West Elm
• book shelves from West Elm
• for my (new) car to be fixed because someone backed in to it last night!! GC to the auto body shop?
• OR a vacation home in Bora Bora ((drool))

xox bird

"ZIP UP YOUR PURSE!!"

Last night, we ventured out to Edina for the Ultimate Suburban Experience: Trader Joe's (grocery shopping), Panera Bread (soup, sandwich & green tea), The Gap (argyle socks & the original khaki), AND the Landmark Theater (Now Playing: The Secret Life Of Bees).

Oddly enough, it was a great way to spend a Friday night.

As we were sitting at Panaera Bread we made a mutual decision: We needed to purchase a few bottles of water to smuggle in to the movie theater. This is especially crucial because much of our movie theater experience evolves around artificially flavored popcorn (artificial flavors include White Cheddar, Jalapeno, and the occasional Parmesan & Garlic)

After Dinner we went straight to the mall (The Gap.) As we were exiting the mall, we found a vending machine full of Dasani water. I stuck 2 bottles of water in my purse.: Smuggling Plan completed.

We proceeded to the movie theater with a few moments to spare. As we walk from the parking garage to the theater, we notice that the bottle of water in my purse were highly visible. This made HIM nervous.

HE suggested that I zip up my purse, and I non-chalantly blew him off because I was not worried about anyone noticing. Even if someone were to notice, I felt that it was no big deal - that they wouldn't even pay attention to the water in my purse! I have smuggled plenty of food/drink items in to movie theaters over a period of 10-12 years.


HIM: "ZIP UP YOUR PURSE!"

ME: "It's not a big deal!"

HIM: "Crista, really, Zip It Up!"

ME: "I'll do it when I get inside."


As HE purchased our tickets, I did not bother to zip up my purse, as promised. As he purchased the popcorn, I STILL did not bother to zip up my purse. In fact, I boldly placed my purse on the concession counter flaunting the 2 bottles of water in my purse to the cashier.


HIM: (disgusted at my boldness) "GET.. WHAT.. THE.. PUT THAT DOWN!!"

ME: (foolish grin on face) "Sorry" wink wink


Although, the bottles of water were spotted in my purse, they were never questioned. The common rule at movie theaters: Outside food/drink is Prohibited, did not apply to me.

---------

AFTER MOVIE DISCUSSION:

Apparently my experience and HIS experience with movie-going has been slightly different. Me, being a white female, have always felt comfortable carrying food/drink items in to the theater and have never been asked not to do so. HE, being a man, has had the rules more strictly enforced.


This lack of consistency with the enforcement of rules extends beyond the movie theater. White females tend to be the least threatening members of society. There is a lack of fear they possess due to the continuous free passes they are handed. The small free passes may seem insignificant at times, but the resulting boldness/fearlessness/confidence that white females possess is profoundly different from the learned behavior of minority women and men to strictly follow the rules.

Although being a white female has it's advantages, there are certain arenas where being perceived as the least threatening member of society has it's disadvantages.

3 Words: Hillary Rodham Clinton

We want our US President to be strong, and confident, therefore any presidential candidate that has the additional baggage as being perceived as the least threatening member of society (white woman) has a huge obstacle to overcome. The one thing this alleged non-threatening candidate is prohibited from doing is to show signs of emotional weakness. Emotional weakness (crying) reinforces the sterotypical pereption of women.

Hillary Clinton cried as she began to lose momentum in the race against Obama. She showed vulnerability, frustration, and weakness. It was soon stated in NewsWeek that "anyone who needed to carry Kleenex in her purse was unfit for the highest office in the land."

In contrast, Sarah Palin has overcome this additional baggage of being perceived as the least threatening member of society by creating the image of being a Pit Bull in liptick. She is tougher than tough. Her boobs are made of stone. She has taken all of her feminine qualities and has used them to her advantage by flirtatiously manipulating men to gain an edge. She is a true feminist. BURN YOUR BRAS WOMEN! !

-------------
In closing, I will admit there is no END to this discussion or thought process. Please note that this is one person's perception. It was thought about, discussed, and then BLOGGED. Please feel free to add to the discussion.

*I thank HIM for:

A. Suggesting that I write this blog

B. For making his opinions/POV's available for this blog.