The holidays are a time of year for bright lights, bling bling, snow-topped trees (and cars), glitteratti, gift wrap, overwhelmingly large ribbons and bows, ice skating, shopping, and gift giving. Oh, and ...pumpkin pie.
Gift-giving is by far my favorite part of the holidays (the EXACT reason there will be no Hannukah celebrating for me this year.) I equally enjoy wrapping paper (and bling.) Despite my previous anxiety over the fact that "thoughtful" gifts can be quite challenging to 'think of', I have made my final decisions and am confident in the gifts that I am gifting this year.
Although gift-giving is much more important to me than receiving, I need you to refer back to my Christmas List. There are important updates to share. (updates are hi-lited in red)
My Official 2008 Christmas List:
a remote car starter(...no updates at this time)
The Little Mermaid II(I purchased this for myself - could not wait!!)
A new mobile phone (anything but a blackberry. must have GPS)(CHECK...100% sold on the iPhone. I have gotten wind that I will be receiving some $$ towards my new iPhone ..thx mom!)
a gift certificate to MAC (this was a just in case kinda thing... a girl can always use more MAKEUP!)
a new bed frame(...hm.. no updates)
a blingin watch (I am ALWAYS looking for a watch that outblings my current one) (i just received a new watch for my birthday. gucci. out-blings the DKNY's that I'm always rockin....)
a filing cabinet from West Elm(CHECK. i am staring at an un-assembled filing cabinet sitting in the middle of my living room... thx dad)
book shelves from West Elm(CHECK. 250$ GC to West Elm arrived in the mail. whoppee!)
for my (new) car to be fixed because someone backed in to it last night!! GC to the auto body shop?(...yeah... my car still sits with a slight amount of damage. makes me sick to my stomach to think about.)
OR a vacation home in Bora Bora ((drool))(yeah... no updates... maybe that will be the grande finale surprise.)
Did I mention the rice cooker and pots & pans that Santa will be leaving under the tree for me?
Originally, I created my Christmas list as a joke...
On a more serious note, here are a few items that I would like to add to my Holiday slash Everyday List:
The diminishment of all ego
A world full of vegans
A new perspective
Wisdom
Children Who Behave (other peoples children -of COURSE my children would be angels)
I have dated many different types of guys throughout my 26 years of life. ('Dating' being a word used very loosely.)
-Seriously... Jaguar Drivers, truck washers, former exotic dancers, home owners, fathers, republicans, co-op shoppers, ice cream eaters, BMX riders, city slickers, salesmen (the worst!!), small town boys... you get the point.
My mind was stirred after reading a post written by one of my favorite bloggers, titled "What's your type, baby?." While reading the post, I realized that we all have our own standard of person we are willing to date. Do we always follow that standard to ensure that our Better Half falls within the guideline of our "type"? I had to think long and hard about "my type" of guy. But here it goes.....
He's Heavily Opinionated (im not saying judgemental) yet Open-Minded. He's Intuitive and Ambitious. He's Independent and enjoys living alone. He is a Man Of His Word and does what he says he's going to do. He's Humorous in a dry smirkish kind of way. He's Moderately Stubborn, and Cautious (non-committal?!?) He's Non-Materialistic and does not own an Xbox or Wii. He is Clean and Tidy - but no perfectionist. He throws away holey underwear and socks. He enjoys being home and can entertain himself in the absence of a television. He is passionate but doesn't have an overwhelming desire for intimacy.
I have realized that an amazing personality is much more attractive than a pretty face (although he MUST have an amazing smile - and smile often). I would much prefer to hang with someone that will stimulate my intellect through topics such as:
Nutrition: I am veg ...therefore he MUST be veg... and healthy. We need to be able to share meals during an occasional restaurant visit. and let's face it, I will not allow dead rotting flesh in my kitchen.
Culture: He would come well-equipped with a natural concern in matters such as the arts, manners, religion, music, worldly news, and conciousness of this earth.
Music: An eclectic taste in music is crucial. I would expect him to introduce me to music I had never heard. No gangster rap, bubble gum pop music, or head banging obnoxiousness on my guy's IPOD.
Travel: No second date for the guy that has not travelled out of his home state. No First date for the guy unwilling to travel outside of his home state.
Although looks are not of high importance when it comes to choosing my Potential Better Half, An amazing ass (especially in jeans) is a Bonus - borderline crucial. (i'm just sayin..)
He may be spotted wearing Sport Coats & Pumas. Straight leg pants or Diesel Jeans - accessorized by a fancy belt. A cashemere sweater, or a v-neck t-shirt smothered in the scent of a man. My man. He dresses simply and let's his personality do the talking.
*Immediate action given to the man hiding tightie whities and a wife beater underneathe his outer layer of clothing. (Wanna come over tonight??)
His style would be subtle, but unique.
Perfection would entail bottling all of this up and transforming him in to the form of creme brulee.
Although, I would claim to be willing to overlook this criteria for the man that has an excessive amount of dough $$ in his bank account, BUT I am not swooned by offers of cash advancements and expensive material goods. I am simply turned off by the exterior vulnerability and the willingness to exchange "love" for $$.
kiss my wounds
love me tender
buy me flowers i've never seen
wake me up from my dreams
to bring me french toast and tea
in the morning light
fly across country to spend
the night
you said you'd steer a boat across the atlantic
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
i can't stand it
when i look in your eyes
unconditionalness sweetness uncompromised
you set the standard for many things
i wasn't sure what it would bring
you're so f*ck'n romantic
other men wouldn't call
just to say "i love you"
take your time
but i miss you
is it okay
if i see you
i'll kiss you everywhere anywhere
damn sure, me
please let this moment be
you're always tempting me
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
we say the same words
at the same time
i start a sentence
you finish mine
laugh at my jokes when i wanna cry
and when i feel lost
i look in your eyes
even in front of your boys
you wouldn't lie
you say"i gotta see my baby tonight"
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
kiss me 'til i'm frantic -goapele-
PS. Did I mention that I will only settle for a domesticated man? One that cooks, cleans, does dishes, AND laundry?
MINNEAPOLIS— A number of young Somali men in Minneapolis have gone missing in recent months, and some fear the youths are being recruited to return to their homeland to fight with terrorist groups.
One of the men who disappeared is believed to have killed himself in an Oct. 29 suicide bombing in northern Somalia, according to a U.S. law enforcement official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the official was not authorized to speak publicly about the case. That official confirmed the FBI and Justice Department were investigating.
Another U.S. law enforcement official, also speaking on condition of anonymity, said authorities are calling it one of the first instances in which a U.S. citizen has acted as a suicide bomber.
The Oct. 29 bombings included a series of five seemingly coordinated attacks in the breakaway republic of Somaliland and the Somalia's Puntland region. More than 20 people were killed.
"We're aware of the circumstances in Somalia right now and the events of the Oct. 29 bombings. And we are aware that a number of individuals from throughout the U.S. and Minneapolis have traveled to Somalia to potentially fight for terrorist groups," said Special Agent E.K. Wilson, an FBI spokesman.
Members of the Somali community in Minneapolis said small groups of young men have been disappearing over the last year. Anywhere from 15 to 20 have left Minneapolis in recent months, said Omar Jamal, executive director of the Somali Justice Advocacy Center.
"We know for a fact this is happening, but we don't know who is doing it," he said.
Osman Ahmed, a Somali activist, said his 17-year-old nephew is among a group of at least seven people who went missing Nov. 4.
The Associated Press is honoring Ahmed's request to withhold the name of the teen for the youth's safety. Ahmed said the teen came to the U.S. as a young child and was an American citizen, like the others who left that day.
Ahmed said his nephew was a high school senior and had a normal routine of going to school, going home then going to the mosque.
"He was a very nice guy," Ahmed said. "He was very clever. Very shy. Very cool."
On Nov. 4, he told his mother a friend would pick him up from school, but he never came home.
"We started checking hospitals, we went to the police station," Ahmed said.
The family then realized that the teen's U.S. passport was missing, and Ahmed said authorities found a flight itinerary showing the teen arriving in Nairobi, Kenya, on Nov. 5.
Within two days, the teen called his mother, saying only that he was alive, safe and in Mogadishu, Somalia, Ahmed said. The teen gave no other details and has not been heard from since.
"We are praying to see him one day," Ahmed said.
Ahmed, who has been talking with other relatives of missing young men, said the families received similar phone calls.
Some members of the Somali community are concerned the young men are being recruited to go to Somalia and fight. The impoverished nation on the Horn of Africa is caught up in an Islamic insurgency and has not had a functioning government since 1991.
"It has to come to an end right now," said Jamal. "It has to stop. ... We have so many families grieving. We don't want any more kids to get brainwashed and programmed."
Jamal and Ahmed said it is suspicious because someone is providing money and transportation for the men to fly from Minnesota to Africa.
"My nephew, he doesn't have money for a ticket," said Ahmed. "None of these kids do."
Jamal said he hopes the situation isn't a black eye for the state's Somali community, which the U.S. Census numbered at more than 24,000 in 2006. Local activists claim the actual number is higher than that.
"We hope that this won't be an issue where the community will be looked at differently," Jamal said. "Somalis at large are very peaceful people. ... We don't want the Somali community to be looked at as a group of suicide bombers."
Fact: I travel much more often than the average person.
Myth: I live a secret life while away from home.
Most people get very excited when it comes to taking a trip far away from home.
An airplane ride is a big deal, and is booked several months in advance. A 6 hour road trip is thoroughly planned. Days and days are spent laying out the items being considered for packing. Money for the big trip is saved for months and months. Numerous thoughts & images of the mysterious destination flood the mind. The trip's itinereary is carefully thought through, only after reading numerous online reviews.
My traveling experience is slightly different. MOST of the time, I am on the road for some type of work event, being a Hair Show, Meeting, or simply to visit salons in markets outside of the Twin Cities. My boss lives in a different state than myself, I have a home office, and am only accompanied by one other co-worker in the Twin Cities. The only way to connect with my co-workers is through travel. Pack the bags, hop a plane, meet up with them in a new city. We have become so accustomed to traveling, we have learned to navigate through any city, and make whatever city we are in 'our life' for that period of time.
When I am on the road, the activities I involve myself are similar to those of the average working-class american: Shower, Iron, Makeup. Breakfast. Coffee. Text friends. Meeting. Work. Lunch. Text. Happy Hour. More Work. Dinner. Text more friends. Hit the streets. OR lay in bed, remote in hand, blogging. There is a slight chance, that I may have FREE TIME in the evening after work to meet up with a friend or two local to the city I am visiting. A slight chance.
Often times, I share a room with a co-worker of mine, have no privacy, no alone time, and am caught up in the presence of people that I do not see often. Catching up on the 411 is an obligation. Did I mention that I rarely see the outside of the hotel?
Being away from home for 10+ days, booking a flight less than 3 days in advance, blowing off a flight, navigating large airports, losing my luggage for 2+ days, being caught alone in cities overnight due to bad weather, hopping in random cabs, making friends with cabbies, staying the night in hotels ranging from boutique to Marriot to Days Inn, hopping a flight to New York, or catching a plane jumper from the islands to San Juan are all daily activities for me.
People often associate my traveling with this sort of 'mysterious life' I live. It is hard for them to visualize exactly what it is that I am doing while I am off in what seems like some luxurious place where I have tons of free time to explore the city, meet people, and add names to the list of people I have screwed.
I can remember back to the very first vacation I took with friends-no parents involved. We stayed in a condo on Treasure Island, and spent our evenings running the streets of Ybor City. As we were preparing for our trip, people kept saying to just be careful. "Be careful.... just.. be safe..." was said in the most solemn of voices. People assumed we were going to Tampa to meet guys and get laid. I was taken aback by these ridiculous assumptions. We were headed to Tampa simply because we were offered a condo at an amazing price. Our agenda was sun-bathing, wave crashing, and drinking at the bar. We had no idea Ybor City even existed. We found it though... and this pretty much sums up our time spent there:
We never did shack up with any guys... and that was never our intention.
Fact: I am able to travel more often for leisure due to Miles earned while flying across the country for my job.
Fact: I DO get to see some cool ish and I DO visit some beautiful places.
Fact: I do NOT enjoy living out of a bag.
Fact: Clothing gets lost, shoes get damaged, and luggage gets torn while en route.
Driving home from work tonight I could feel my body tense... uncomfortable. The snow is thick, the roads are slick, and traffic is slow. I felt unsafe. I could not get home soon enough. Due to my recent car accident, I trust no one. Not even myself.
Although the snow is dangerous to drive in, and causes life to slow down, it IS beautiful. Tonight, even as I stare out my window now, the snow is still falling. As I was walking the dog this evening, up above, I noticed a flock of Black Birds all gathered in the naked, snow-tipped trees. There were hundreds of them. Every few moments, they would all at once fly out of the trees causing a commotion and find a new tree to gather in. As I looked above to watch the birds, the snowflakes were dropping right in to my eyes wide open. As I blinked them off, it was hard to keep my eyes open to watch the activity of the birds. I had a camera ready to take pictures of these black birds that had become an instant fascination. Unfortunately, I could only capture the white snowflakes. The blackness of the birds blended in with the dark sky up above.
The dog was oblivious to the swarming birds and the commotion they were causing. He was busy creating the first footprints in the snow and pushing his face through the fluffy snow. When he finally lifted his head out of the snow, it was completely covered in the white fluffy mess. Was pretty cute.
As the pooch was taking care of his business, I heard a noise. ::PLOP:: I looked up and realized that I was standing directly underneathe a bare tree filled with birds. I looked down, closely at the mess that had plopped down on to the wet groud and realized that it was bird poo. Close call - as I was only standing a few inches from where the poo had plopped.
Right then, I knew it was time to get back inside where we are safe. From the slickness of the snow. The bitter coldness against my face. And the plopping of bird poo up and down the street.
Although the air was bitter cold... it was refreshing. And, I have yet to de-cipher my fascination with birds....
I received a text today from a good friend. He asked that I blog it.
"Being emotional is borderline crazy... Heart won't follow the facts or guide lines.... Cross the line and find yourself insane." "Heart can drive you to victory, it can take you to the top. But once it's broken, it becomes your anchor." -cowboy drew
#1. strip down to minimal clothing and allow artist to paint fins with glitteratti blingin acrylic paint
#2. Photographer snaps shots in multiple "mermaid-like" positions
#3. artist sketch (see below)
#4. the final image including iridescent gliteratti fun. (coming soon)
I was reminded today that i was still eating hotdogs, porkchops, burgers, bacon, and bologna when the early stages of my mermaid-ness were taking place. nasty.
I have expressed my frustration with the challenge of Thinking of Thoughtful Gifts to give in celebration of Christmas.
This year, I will be going home (back to Indiana) for the first time in a year. I have not been back to see my family since Christmas of '07. For this reason, I would like to present my closest family members with some nice gifts.
I enjoy gift-giving, and most importantly I enjoy shopping. Gift giving requires I shop.
This past weekend, I took on my first round of "holiday shopping." My purchases included: 2 DVD's, 3 books, a bling license plate, multiple items from Victorias Secret (only to receive the GWP's,) and makeup. All for myself.
Round one of holiday shopping ended up to be a mini personal shopping spree. It just happened that I had to keep a few of those items that would have made great gifts for myself. I NEEDED them. I was tempted to purchase MORE items for myself but tried to stay on track - keeping my eye exclusively on gift items.
Oh well, technically, I still have 23 days.
Can anyone recommend "thoughtful" gifts for dads and brothers?
As a vegetarian, the #1 question I am asked is: "How do you get enough protein?!?!"
This question is especially annoying because the people who ask are obviously un-educated as to what a well-balanced meal really looks like (their idea of a hearty meal is steak/pork chops/meatloaf, fried potatoes, a dinner roll, and a diet coke.)
For those of you curious; vegetables, soy, legumes, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains all contain protein.
Vegetarian Protein Reality:
Over the last few decades, wide spread practical experience of vegetarian diet, knowledge of traditional cultures, and hundreds of health/diet studies, all tell a different story.
Too much protein is as harmful as too little, and is linked with shorter life expectancy, increased cancer and heart disease risk, widespread obesity and diabetes, osteoporosis, kidney stress, and bad digestion
High protein-diets bring about temporary weight-loss, at the expense of overall health, and people quickly regain weight once they return to a normal diet
A varied vegetarian diet with a balance of protein, fats & carbohydrates, and adequate calorie intake provides more than enough protein
Complete animal protein is not superior to complete protein from more than one plant source – they give the same result in different ways
Protein from plant sources doesn't include excess calories from fat, toxic residues, or an overabundance of protein, which stresses the kidneys
Protein deficiency is very rare in the US and is generally diagnosed in people living in countries suffering from famine. It's been estimated that the average person in this country eats two - six times more protein, usually from animals, than is needed for good nutrition.
So then comes the question on Thanksgiving. Am I REALLY NOT going to eat TURKEY on Thanksgiving. And to be completely honest, if i WERE going to eat meat, TURKEY on THANKSGIVING would be the last piece of meat on my list because I know the facts:
There are 300 million turkeys killed each year—more than 40 million during the holiday season alone—for human consumption. Turkeys on factory farms have their beaks and toes cut off without pain relief. They are crammed by the tens of thousands into dark, stifling warehouses where disease, smothering, and heart attacks are common. Today's turkeys are genetically bred to grow so quickly that their bones and leg muscles often give out under the stress of supporting their huge upper bodies. Millions of turkeys die every year from heat exhaustion, freezing, and accidents during transport.
Thousands of free-range turkeys are raised in a single warehouse-like structure forced to stand on accumulated fecal waste and breathe in ammonia fumes. These turkeys are then taken to the slaughterhouse through transport containers where they are hung upside down in shackles. There they cry out in fear and pain as they await their own slaughter. Think of how much it hurts when we get a little speck in our eye, and we might understand the degree of suffering that the turkeys are been forced to endure day after day.
And in an earlier post, I pointed out that the Union of Concerned Scientists points out that 70 percent of the antibiotics sold in the United States are used to treat healthy livestock...
Anyhow, due to my family being hundreds of miles away, I am spending Thanksgiving at home, alone, with the pooch. I have resorted to the couch, in boy shorts, un-showered, with Forrest Gump on the tube. I will take the opportunity to work on my Weekend Commitments
Oh, and did I mention the house next door was on fire this AM? 5 Fire Trucks parked outside of my window, Channel 5 news, & LOTS of firemen (including the Chief.)
Throughout the week, I have been busy creating my very own little Thanksgiving meal. On the menu: Sweet Potatoe Souflee, Apple Crisp, Butternut Squash Soup, Black Bean Salad, Minnesota Wild Rich & Squash, Spinach Salad, Jalapeno Cornbread, Apple Cider, Cranberry Fruit Salad, and Pumpkin Pie - mostly made from scratch. THAT's enough to be thankful for. (did i ever mention that i LOVE cooking in my kitchen??)
I rarely get excited about the holidays, for various reasons. The #1 reason tends to be the many obligtions that come including: being expected to showing thanks, thinking of thoughtful gifts, (gift-giving is no longer natural - it is EXPECTED), the consumption of garb foods, the guilt of gathering with relatives ONLY once a year , and a years worth of the positive & negative life stories (I feel guilty telling a positive story, when everyone else is living in the negative.)
I DO enjoy Gift Wrap. (actually, obsessed. I have a collection of wrapping paper, bows, string, glitteratti, need I go on?!?!)
I have been humbled on this day, Nov. 27th, 2008.... Thanksgiving. I will pour one for all my Turkey homies that were literally plumped to death for your dining pleasure.
**Facts Found at: goveg.com, articlesbase.com, savvyvegetarian.com, peta.com
Determined to find a decently priced apartment to look at in December when I visit, I am now spending a good portion on my time browsing ads on Craigslist. I have not announced it to the world yet, but I plan on moving back to Chicago in Spring of '09.
I couldn't NOT share this ad that I came across while browsing through the Apt/Housing category.
$30 / 3br - -------------House Wife Wanted....All Expenses Paid.....SAVE $$ (Just South of Wicker Park)
You Provide:Laundry and house chores.
I Provide: All Housing Expense Paid......You Live For Free....And a chance to get ahead in life by living for free.......
Me: 28 M White, Attractive, Business Owner, Wicker Park
--I am Looking for a house wife
--You wash my laundry/ cook/ clean....I pay all of the bills....
-- I work 90- 100 hours a week, and am sick of spending my small amount of spare time doing house chores......
--Be my house wife and I'll pay all of the rent/ utility / tv / phone / internet / food / drinks / parking expenses you are currently paying!! You can save up $$ and get a jump start on life !!
--Please include your picture and #.....I'll call to answer any questions you may have.
-- And yes, this is a real ad, and no this is not too good to be true. I would just rather not spend my only day off washing clothes (10 loads per week of work clothes) / cleaning up the house and my office....
dogs are OK - wooof Location: Just South of Wicker Park
Tempting. I think I am the right person for the job. (If not, Phil, I will find out if he would be open to a "house husband.")
I decided to venture out of the house today and treat the pooch to a nice afternoon at the dog park. Although it is cold outside, it was not unbearable... and the pooch has been slightly anxious to get out of the house ( I know this because he whines at me CONSTANTLY.)
Little did I know, the pooch (who was wearing the cutest little black jacket) would become the center of attention at the dog park.
When we visit the dog park (frequently in the spring/summer) we typically go to the park for big dogs, not small dogs ALTHOUGH my dog is only 11 lbs. He enjoys the big dogs, and gets himself in to less trouble. He gets waaaay too excited around the other small dogs.
Today, after roaming around by himself for quite some time, he found a gorgeous lassie-looking dog (50-75 lbs) to focus all of his attention on. Lassie was laying down chewing on a stick, when my pooch decided to take the opportunity to get behind Lassie and mount her. Lassie didn't even notice, but EVERYONE ELSE in the dog park did. There was one point in time that 3-4 people had their camera phones out not just taking pictures - but recording the dominatrix (a.k.a my pooch) in hump-mode. It WAS quite the site. Quite embarassing. The pooch has a reputation of being "romantic" but has also been referred to as Duece Bigalow.....
Eventually, I had to pull my dog off of Lassie and carry him out of the park. He is currently sprawled out on the couch with all 4 legs in the air. Relaxing after his big super-star day at the dog park.
On the lighter side of dog talk I got an e-mail from my grandparents and read this: "...We took Hunter (their dog) to the Mall yesterday in his stroller. He really enjoys that...."
wow.
(((change of subject)))
In less than 24 hours, my dreams of celebrating Hannukah this year have been shattered.
I was not aware that Hannukah is one of the best known holidays simply because of it's proximity to Christmas, It has become part of "The Holidays." Hannukah is often referred to as the "Jewish Christmas" and has adopted many of the Christmas traditions such as gift giving and elaborate decorating - although this is not traditional for the jews. Basic tradition is the lighting of the candles, spinning a dreidle, and eating fried food. Not much for celebrating.
SO I am back to celebrating the Holidays just like the Christians do, just like I did growing up. Santa Clause, Reindeer, and GIFTS... oh... and baby jesus!
To begin my holiday celebration I am going to create a Christmas list. (don't make me get out the JCPenny catalog)
My Official 2008 Christmas List:
a remote car starter
The Little Mermaid II
A new mobile phone (anything but a blackberry. must have GPS)
a gift certificate to MAC
a new bed frame
a blingin watch (I am ALWAYS looking for a watch that outblings my current one)
a filing cabinet from West Elm
book shelves from West Elm
for my (new) car to be fixed because someone backed in to it last night!! GC to the auto body shop?
"...........using the word "interesting" allows you to keep your distance, play around with ideas and concepts in your mind, agree or disagree........" eckhart tolle
It is currently Monday eve and my work week is just about over. (*smiles*) I may choose to work in the salon on Friday just to get out of the house. To fill all of my free time, I have committed myself to a few things over the next week and a half:
I will not eat out. I will eat home cooked (vegan-ish) meals at home.
I will finish a book that has taken me waaay to long to read (it's deep): A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle AND I will start a new book. Not sure which book. I will have to make the decision between: The Hour I first Believed by Wally Lamb, Wasted Beauty by Eric Bogosian, Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt, OR finishing The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene. I would really like to start a novel.
I will learn everything I need to know about Hannukah - I will be celebrating this year (no, I am not jewish - just trying something new) I will also celebrate the Hmong New Year
I will meet my friends at 1029 Bar for another round of Karaoke on a traditional Wednesday night.... and I will sing my heart out. fa la la la la la la la la
I will probably spend Thanksgiving alone, BUT I will go see a good movie on Thanksgiving eve... which is tradition for me.
I will complete my gift-giving list (why are thoughtful gifts so hard to think of??) I don't give many but I do give some.
I will unpack my beautiful Celebration Barbies (yes, I collect BARBIES) and place them under spotlight for the next 5 weeks.
I will NOT set an alarm clock... I will wake up when I feel like.
That's it. That's all I've got. I am really looking forward to my week, although I will not be with family, I will not be with my closest firneds. I will be alone. Alone with a good book and some good vegan-ish food.
Very early in my career, I learned that everything you say will eventually be repeated - and you must be 100% comfortable with every word that leaves your mouth. If you choose to talk negatively about someone behind their back, eventually that person will get word of what you have said.
Everything you say can and will be used against you.
I can remember the exact moment that I realized ALL of the gossip I was spreading, all of the rumors, and hate messages I was throwing around WAS being repeated - repeated back to the people I was gossiping about!
(Why, for so long, did I think the rumors I was spreading would stay only with the one person I told them to??)
Travel Back In Time about 6 years:
Waaaaaay back in the day ;) I was working at a salon in Indiana. The salon was busy, I worked with my friends, and knew most of the guests that entered the salon. I viewed most of my guests as friends, not just paying clients.
One of my guests (we will leave her name out of the blog for obvious reasons,) would come to the salon every 4-6 weeks faitfully for a cut & color. She brought her 13 year old daughter to the salon for cuts & color as well. They became good $$ customers of mine.
I remember before I knew her well, SHE would always make comments about working at night and being exhausted during day time hours. Eventually she pushed me to ask a simple question: "Oh, you work at night? What do you do?"
She was a stripper. A 44 year old stripper with a 13 year old daughter. And a dramatic love life. Oh, and flourescent green fingernails. A stripper that thought I was pretty which probably meant I had a good looking father. She wanted to know more about my dad.
Whoa. (i know!) A stripper step-mom?!?!?!
Each time she was in the salon, she would ask to see pictures of my dad. Each time she was in the salon I would tell her "Maybe next time." Of course this was always mixed among her stories of lost love, broken hearts, rich guys, boyfriend #1, and boyfriend #2. I could never focus on her stories of broken romance, instead my mind would race a hundred miles a minute - wondering if her 13 year old daughter watched her walk out of the house at night in fishnet stockings, lacy thongs, and stripper shoes!! AND I wondered what her daughter thought of those loooong green fingernails... and the playboy bunny imprinted on her thigh, and the fake tan! AND I could just not visualize thhose 44 year old saggy boobs jiggling around in anyone's face... for $$$!!
Nothing against strippers. I'm just sayin. That's where my mind went - it was completely riduculous and out of control.
This whole situation blew my mind (obviously!!) soooo I talked about it. I told my co-workers of the stripper with dreams of being my step mother. I told my friends, and I told salon clients of mine.
In fact, I can remember the day (very vividly) that 2 of my favorite clients/friends were in the salon shopping for some shampoo. They stopped me to chat... asked about life, updated me on their life... asked about my dad... (gasp) I had a GREAT story to tell them!!
I told these girls everything about HER. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. In the middle of the shampoo aisle in the salon.
We said our good-byes, deciding we would all see each other soon. I walk away. Turn the aisle. And come face-to-face with HER. The stripper. In the next aisle. I knew instantly that SHE had heard everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Instantly, I was nauseated. And looking for a story. Justification. Lies. EEK!~
SHE mentioned that she was in the salon just shopping for shampoo, and... that she had heard everything. Of course, she knew I was talking about HER. With lines like: "Like, Who wants a stripper for a mom" and "Isn't she too old to be a stripper anyway - plus she has a 13 year old" There was no doubt SHE was the person I was referring to.
Not sure how I got myself out of that situation, it's all a blur. I'm pretty sure she never came to see me in the salon again.
And, I'm pretty sure I have watched what comes out my mouth from that day forward.
Back to the present:
Unfortunately, gossip happens quite frequently in the beauty business. I happen to be employed in the beauty business. For various reasons, lately, I have been at the butt end of other peoples gossip. In fact, 3 different people, from 3 different sides of my work life have been heard talking smack about me. Interesting enough, that all 3 of them don't know me very well at all.
My plan of action is to not retaliate although, eventually, I may (discreetly) let them in on the fact that I know what they have said. Of course, I would allow them to know everything I know. I would allow their minds to always wonder exactly what it is that I do know.
Typically, I am not one to draw attention and drama, but lately I have been in the spotlight. What must the girl do to remove herself from the attention of others?
"...When you are seemingly diminished in some way and remain in absolute nonreaction, not just externally but also internally, you realize that nothing real has been diminished, that through becoming "less," you become more...."- Eckhart Tolle
My job could often times be compared to a bad joke.
Often times, I am placed in front of groups of people, ready and willing to help them earn a better living and live a better life. Unfortunatley, most of these people would prefer to stay wrapped in a broken misery. Most of the time, I care more about their personal growth and success than they do.
Yesterday, I was placed in front of a group of *special* people. Here is what I mean by *special* During my presentation they:
wanted to know my ethnicity (they screamed the question... rudely)
laid their heads on a table and slept - apologized later.
chomped on Jimmy John's Sandwich & pickle
made the announcement that they had no idea that I was coming to present to them and had no idea what I would be presenting. they could have cared less whether i was there or not.
Although this may not sound extreme, a group of professionals that are interested in growing their education & successes would not have acted this way.
So, yesterday, this little situation happened to about 6 or 7 of my coworkers and myself. It is called "mis-communication." This mis-communication caused my boss to call me on the phone, scream at me, threaten my job with his company, and hang up on me. Of course, he blamed the situation on me, and believe it or not, the situation was not my fault at all (victimizing myself.) I was looking for solutions to the problem we encountered. I offered solutions to the problem and no one could seem to agree on the same solution. I never did understand why 6 people needed to be a part of the situation in the first place OR why it was so hard to get respondence from all parties involved.
The outcome of the whole situation ended with me in front of a small group of people that could have cared less about their careers, let alone the positive message that I had to pass along to them.
By the end of the day, I was reassured that I should not fear losing my job - Not that I ever DID fear it.
BUT the whole situation left a bitter taste in my mouth. Did I deserve to be screamed at and hung up? AND told that my side of the story will never be heard? You would think that your employer (who is an ADULT) would have enough respect to hear all sides of the story prior to BLOWING UP. As an employee, I do not feel valued. I do not feel that my opinion matters. I do not feel that my employer has my back and and looks out for my best interest. I do not feel that my employer is willing to GROW ME as his employee .....although I have shown loyalty to his distributorship.
-------------------
Today, on the other hand, I realized that there ARE people that respect me, value my opinion, hang on to the words that I say, and understand that I work with them to help them grow their business.
I was in front of two different groups of people today that look forward to seeing me in their salons. They thank me every time I come in. They hang on to every word I say. The ideas/systems/techniques that I provide are immediately put in to action. In return, they are experiencing growth within their business.
These are the people that I enjoy working with. Working with these people allows me to be productive within my job. So why is it that Big Boss Daddy can't see this and continuously kicks and screams about me working with nobodys that will always fail miserably in life??
It feels good to be respected and appreciated, and I am now facing a the point in my career that I will seek out an employer that RESPECTS and APPRECIATES the work that I do.
On another note, I got on the phone with a long time friend of mine tonight. He called to give me an update on his not-so-great relationship. He made the statement that although I am so far away from him right now, he still considers me one of his best friend. *smiles*
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