everyone needs an outlet. vague yet revealing. slightly controversial.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

you had me at 'hello'

I have dated many different types of guys throughout my 26 years of life. ('Dating' being a word used very loosely.)

-Seriously... Jaguar Drivers, truck washers, former exotic dancers, home owners, fathers, republicans, co-op shoppers, ice cream eaters, BMX riders, city slickers, salesmen (the worst!!), small town boys... you get the point.



My mind was stirred after reading a post written by one of my favorite bloggers, titled "What's your type, baby?." While reading the post, I realized that we all have our own standard of person we are willing to date. Do we always follow that standard to ensure that our Better Half falls within the guideline of our "type"? I had to think long and hard about "my type" of guy. But here it goes.....


He's Heavily Opinionated (im not saying judgemental) yet Open-Minded. He's Intuitive and Ambitious. He's Independent and enjoys living alone. He is a Man Of His Word and does what he says he's going to do. He's Humorous in a dry smirkish kind of way. He's Moderately Stubborn, and Cautious (non-committal?!?) He's Non-Materialistic and does not own an Xbox or Wii. He is Clean and Tidy - but no perfectionist. He throws away holey underwear and socks. He enjoys being home and can entertain himself in the absence of a television. He is passionate but doesn't have an overwhelming desire for intimacy.

I have realized that an amazing personality is much more attractive than a pretty face (although he MUST have an amazing smile - and smile often). I would much prefer to hang with someone that will stimulate my intellect through topics such as:


  • Nutrition: I am veg ...therefore he MUST be veg... and healthy. We need to be able to share meals during an occasional restaurant visit. and let's face it, I will not allow dead rotting flesh in my kitchen.

  • Culture: He would come well-equipped with a natural concern in matters such as the arts, manners, religion, music, worldly news, and conciousness of this earth.

  • Music: An eclectic taste in music is crucial. I would expect him to introduce me to music I had never heard. No gangster rap, bubble gum pop music, or head banging obnoxiousness on my guy's IPOD.

  • Travel: No second date for the guy that has not travelled out of his home state. No First date for the guy unwilling to travel outside of his home state.

Although looks are not of high importance when it comes to choosing my Potential Better Half, An amazing ass (especially in jeans) is a Bonus - borderline crucial. (i'm just sayin..)

He may be spotted wearing Sport Coats & Pumas. Straight leg pants or Diesel Jeans - accessorized by a fancy belt. A cashemere sweater, or a v-neck t-shirt smothered in the scent of a man. My man. He dresses simply and let's his personality do the talking.

*Immediate action given to the man hiding tightie whities and a wife beater underneathe his outer layer of clothing. (Wanna come over tonight??)

His style would be subtle, but unique.

Perfection would entail bottling all of this up and transforming him in to the form of creme brulee.

Although, I would claim to be willing to overlook this criteria for the man that has an excessive amount of dough $$ in his bank account, BUT I am not swooned by offers of cash advancements and expensive material goods. I am simply turned off by the exterior vulnerability and the willingness to exchange "love" for $$.


kiss my wounds
love me tender
buy me flowers i've never seen
wake me up from my dreams
to bring me french toast and tea
in the morning light
fly across country to spend
the night
you said you'd steer a boat across the atlantic
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
i can't stand it
when i look in your eyes
unconditionalness sweetness uncompromised
you set the standard for many things
i wasn't sure what it would bring
you're so f*ck'n romantic
other men wouldn't call
just to say "i love you"
take your time
but i miss you
is it okay
if i see you
i'll kiss you everywhere anywhere
damn sure, me
please let this moment be
you're always tempting me
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
we say the same words
at the same time
i start a sentence
you finish mine
laugh at my jokes when i wanna cry
and when i feel lost
i look in your eyes
even in front of your boys
you wouldn't lie
you say"i gotta see my baby tonight"
cuz you're so f*ck'n romantic
kiss me 'til i'm frantic
-goapele-
PS. Did I mention that I will only settle for a domesticated man? One that cooks, cleans, does dishes, AND laundry?
i'm just sayin'
xox

6 comments:

sam said...

hhhhmm I will admit. You are pretty. But I think you expect too much from a man. With all the traveling you do. I dont know how much time your willing to spend in a relationship. I dont like being on the road that much.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I love it! Your type is similar to mine in a lot of ways...

It's a lot to expect, I think. But it's probably best to have high expectations and then fall for someone in spite of their quirks (or better yet, because of them) than to just wander blind with no sense of what you want...

Phil Marx said...

So you’re saying that a guy who has never left his home state could date you once, provided he has at least thought about traveling. Then, if on this first date he were to take you out of state, he might qualify for a second date. Would it then be required for each subsequent date to be in another state?

And I have to agree with the sentiment expressed by Sam. You do seem to have extremely high expectations for your partner. I guess the real test is whether you are willing and able to give as much as you want to get.

Also, I like how you differentiate between being opinionated and being judgmental. Any person who has had a substantial amount of experience with life should have established some strong opinions. But these opinions are based on their limited knowledge and experience. The first flaw with being judgmental is that you assume that other people have had the same experiences as you, and that is just plain stupid - at least that’s my opinion!

Finally, regarding the Xbox and Wii, I don’t own one - hell, I’ve never even played one. I guess that pushes me beyond non-materialistic into the realm of seriously out of touch with the modern world. That’s okay, the old black and white movies are often better than the crap they usually put out today, so I don’t seem to be missing much.

benediction said...

I have my list too...but find sometimes I am just attracted to someone not like anything I've ordered!

J.R. LeMar said...

That's a pretty tall order, I must say. But not totally unexpected, since in another blog you said you're 26, right?

Here's a joke I saw about women's standards for potential mates, and how those standards change over the years.

Standards (age 22):

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised Standards (age 32):

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

Re-revised Standards (age 42):

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady — splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

Re-re-revised Standards (age 52):

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

Re-re-re-revised (age 62):

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing !
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

Re-re-re-re-revised (age 72):

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

HAHAHA

Vegan Pig